Netflix synopsis: Kimberley’s deaf friend is the only hope to rescue a group of girls captured by the Gnarly Gnome and his hypnotic accordion.
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At the G&J Bar, Kimberley is leading a dancersize class. (Are these kids ever in school?)
In the background, Billy, Ernie and a trolley of towels are getting involved too. Billy is of course an adorably clumsy dancer.
Meanwhile, Jason and Trini are arm-wrestling at the bar, and Trini is practically using Zack’s lap as a chair for some reason.
Seriously – this is too close for ‘just friends’, right? Or maybe this was totes normal in the swinging 90s.
Well, what did you really expect? For Billy not to fall onto Ernie’s towel trolley and go flying around the gym like a man possessed whilst getting covered in sweaty discarded gym clothes? This is Power Rangers, guys. Come on.
The end result of this cavalcade of slapstick is Billy slamming into the wall.
But luckily for him, his good friend Kimberley is on hand straight away to give him a helping hand u- Oh wait, no. She actually just teases him and leaves him where he is like a terrible friend. “Billy, this is not the way to meet girls!”
Trini, on the other hand, is a better friend, albeit not a very observant one: “What happened, Billy?” TRINI, YOU WERE RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
Billy’s not the only who has trouble with co-ordination though. As Kim’s dancersize class continues, this clutzy broad knocks into the girl next to her – and get’s an earful for it. (Unintentional pun. You’ll see why in a second.)
Oh no! Clutzy broad is actually deaf! And that hearing girl was actually a total bitch for yelling at her!
Huh, Kimberley knows sign language. Pretty cool. But she forgot to sign the moves as well as say them during the class. Pretty uncool.
Meanwhile at Rita’s Moon base, Finster is busy working on a monster that, “eats cats and smells like a fish,” when Rita demands that he work on a music-based monster instead seeing as that’s the theme of the episode this week. She specifies it be, “like the Pied Piper, only meaner,” demonstrating a strangely broad knowledge of human culture for someone who spent ten thousand years sleeping in a space dumpster.
Finster reminds her that, “musical monsters aren’t very reliable,” which implies they’ve tried a similar plan before. (Are any of Finster’s monsters that realiable, come to think of it?) He offers to make a “nice fire-breathing hedgehog instead.” To which Rita replies: “GET MY MONSTER OR I’LL TURN YOU INTO A SYHPIAN SLUG!” Idk what the fuck that is Finster, but I’d do as she says if I were you.
Back at the G&J Bar, the deaf girl – Melissa – kisses and makes up with the bitchy girl she bumped into (Disclaimer: there’s no kissing).
Aaaaaand then the *real* stars enter the scene.
Bulk and Skull start ripping on Kimberley’s dancers, or “rapping ballerinas” as Bulk calls them. “Not even ballerinas,” Skull corrects. “The stuff they’re doing is too easy.” I’m sorry, Skull I didn’t have you down as a ballet expert for some reason…And it’s not long before they pick a fight with Jason.
To cool things down, perpetual cool dude Zack challenges Bulk to a dance-off.
Zack wows the crows with his be-bop moves.
And Bulk… Well, Bulk just rips his trousers.
Then Zack does a pretty sweet handstand on the bar.
And Bulk expertly does the same. No, of course he doesn’t – Bulk just slides straight over the top.
And – as usual – Bulk gets covered in food.
Outside, Rita’s Piper – essentially a Viking Gnome with the voice of Danny DeVito – is beamed down to get to work.
He strikes gold pretty quickly when Kimberley’s dancers exit the bar (including Melissa), and soon puts them under his spell with his “hypnotic accordian.”
He leads the girls to the desert…
…and into a cave.
Melissa’s deafness has sheilded her from hearing the hypnotic music, but when she tries to follow the Gnome and girls into the cave, she’s magically stopped.
So instead, she runs all the way back to the G&J Bar (at least Kim’s dancersize is keeping her stamina up) to try and communciate with the two least helpful people in the bar: Jason and Ernie.
In the cave, the Gnome has wasted no time setting up some kind of Medieval orgy – complete with tables of ye olde times food and shit loads of candles.
He’s also gotten the girls to dance around Wickerman style as if they’re about to either be married off to Lords of the Manor or burt at the stake to satiate the Gods of the Harvest.
He even orders the Putties to get involved and dance with them. Ugh. I have so many bad vibes about this.
Lurking in the background as per usual, Baboo and Squat are dicking around preparing all of the Gnome’s banquet foods.
Not sure how much research Baboo has actually done on Medieval food in preparation for this though. Judging by the contents of this pan, I’m gonna guess it’s a solid none.
And if you thought that maybe Sqaut was doing something even vaguely normal while this was going on, you’d be sorely mistaken. Taking out this neatly-wrapped gift box, he opens it up to reveal a gross-looking bug, proudly proclaiming that’s been saving it to eat on a “special occasion.”
This whole sitation is thouroughly confusing and disturbing.
Luckily, Rita’s been keeping tabs on this whole unfolding fever dream of insanity, and yells at the Gnome to stop fucking around.
HIs reaction is completely calm and resonable: He turns invisible. Then turns visible again. And we never see him use that power again for the rest of the episode. I mean… I just can’t.
But don’t worry – here comes Melissa and the Rangers!
And it’s Morphin’ time! Or as Jason so eloqantly puts it, “Alrightuglyreleasethegirls!”
It seems like they’ve defeated him pretty easily…
But Rita soon dispels this idea.
Time to get those Zords out and jack them up with some crystal juice!
But that Gnome just isn’t going to give up that easily. Not only is he blasting beams out of his, um, rake, but he even whips his super-sized accordian out.
The Megazord seems to become disorientated for a few seconds from the accordian music.
But, it quickly snaps out of it. BOOM. Dead Gnome.
The Rangers rescue the girls before whatever disturbing ritual the Gnome was planning could take place. Kimberley’s explains what happened to them in girl talk: “This totally manky monster hypnotised you and trapped you in a cave.”
Back at the G&J Bar, Jason attempts some sign language to make up for earlier, but ends up saying “your dog smells” with only one gesture. Queue awkward laughter to shame him into never attempting to expand his horizons again.
Jason: “You know Zack, when you do it right, sign language isn’t that hard to learn.” Zack: “Oh man, it’s a whole new world of rapping!” Very, um, astute observations boys…
While this philosophising is taking place, Melissa drags Billy up to dance. But he seems to have magically improved a lot since we last saw him attempt to dance.
Like, really good all of a sudden. Oh well, get your coat Billy – you’ve pulled!
Speaking of romance, at the end of this week’s episode we devoted some time to discussing fan favourite pairings in Mighty Morphin’, which lead to us also going down the rabbit hole of disturbing fan fiction involving no-one’s favourite slash pairing: Bulk and Skull.
Yep, it really does exist.
Make sure you check out the episode using the links at the top to hear some snippets of ‘Seducing Bulk‘ – and other unsettling erotica by the same author – and if you want to jump down the terrifying fan fiction rabbit hole with us, you can read more from our new favourite author (‘Lieutentant Sparkles’) here.
Next episode: ‘Food Fight.‘