Oh boy. We’re off to a sweaty start. #TheThirstIsReal. We’re in the ol’ Gym & Juice (duh) where Trini and Kim are on the hunt for a girl with “long black ponytails”.

“C’mon ladies, how much trouble could a little girl cause?” Zack is on super smooth alert alert. Probably because he’s been wrestling around with Jason shirtless and his pheromones have gone ape shit.

Meanwhile… SOMEONE is messing around with the hot water.

More shirtless dudes! Whoever wrote this episode must have had some sort of quote to fill. They’re all running out of the shower because the hot water suddnely got turned off.

And what a surprise! Maria is to blame. Hmm, does that hair remind you of anyone..?

*throat noise*

“Mariiiiiaaaaa!”

Up in space, Rita yells some stuff about “Power Eggs”, which are, “an avil force that even Zordon can’t stop.”

We’re shown this cave entrance, within which the eggs should be. It’s supposed to be top secret, but the out-of-place cherub statue might be a bit of a giveaway that something important is in there.

Rita teleports down, and for some reason she takes the Idiot Squad (Goldar, Baboo and Squat) with her.

Squat tried to open the chest to get the eggs, but is unsucessful.

Turn out Rita forgot one tiny-weeny but clearly very important detail: The chest can bizarrely only be opened by a child.

The obvious answer here would be for Rita to send Goldar off to just snatch any old child he finds lying around, but – this being Rita  – she has to have a monster made specially for the purpose instead. She barks her demands at Finster, making the obvious child-catching choice…

… a chicken? Nope. Didn’t see that coming. Not ever would I have seen that coming.

So here he is. A “ruthless, nasty and mean” Chunky Chicken.

Annnnd he’s got some shears. Of course. Because why the fuck not at this point?

Meanwhile at the girls’ picnic, Maria is talking shit about her Dad.

“Oh Dad, why don’t you know how to insert a tampon correctly? You fool!”

I often daydream about all the rad boys I know too, Kim.

Yes. Yes they are.

You’ve got so much to look forward to, kid!

SURPRISE PUTTY ATTACK. Maria seems unphased though. I guess by this point putties are regular appearences in Angel Grove.

Trini and Kim do a good job fending them off, mainly just using leg-power.

But they still manage to make off with Maria. Come to think of it, why did Rita even need the chicken at all if she was just going to send the putties to get the kid?

Goldar volunteers to meet them in the cave…

…and for some reason insists on reassembling the Idiot Squad again.

Back at the G&J, Zack orders the “Ernie special” which is basically a serving bowl filled with a gallon of ice-cream and enough syrup to kill a diabetic person. Seems odd that this is his special considering he works out of a gym and specialises in fruit smoothies.

Wait, that’s JUST for you Zack!? I have a theory that Zack may be experiencing menstural cramps in the episode. I mean he’s super horny and he’s eating way more than usual – two things that often happen just before or during your special lady time of the month. Could be because he’s taking dodgy hormone pills to beef up, which could also explain why he looks super buff at the start of the episode, too. IT ALL ADDS UP.

Trini and Kim rush into to tell the boys what happened, but when they try to contact Zordon, it turns out their communicators are down.

Since the teleporters are down too, Billy suggests an alternative mode of transport. They all head off to Billy’s house, or specifically, the garage he does his sciencing out of.

It’s the Rad Bug! Yay?

Hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, Trini.

Um, hel-lo Zack, did you not just hear Billy say he’s converted this vintage car into a vehicle capable to transporting you anywhere on the planet’s surface? And this is in 1993 for Christ’s sake! Is that not impressive enough for you, Zack?! What have you invented lately, ZACK.

HAPPY NOW, ZACK?!

GOOD.

Suitably impressed, the Rangers jump in the car.

And, um, fly through the sky..?

Ooh, it’s the standard ‘let’s all lean over in one direction to show the journey is turbulent’ acting! This also reminds of a scene from something else…

They make to the HQ in one peice, catch Zordon up on Rita’s latest evil doing, and Zack asks Zordon the million dollar question.

Time for some Rangers history, kids!

Hey Zordon, maybe don’t record history on VHS next time. The quality really can’t stand the test of time.

Back to the Cave of Wonders [“TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP!”] and the Chunky Chicken is talking about how easy it was to get the girl to open the chest while furiously snapping his shears or hedge clippers or whatever they are and making cartoon chicken noises.

He’s also having trouble preventing Baboo and Squat from eating the eggs. Because, y’know – Idiot Squad.

Outside, the Rangers are driving around in the Rad Bug. Wait, why are they driving around when they can fly?

Oh, okay. That’s actually a good idea, Billy.

Hurry up, guys! The Squad is on the move with the eggs!

Oooh, this is new. I don’t know what’s going on but it seems to work. The Rangers shoot this weird Triforce energy thing at the Baboo…

…and he drops them into the sea – which is where they belong, according to Zordon.

The Power weapons come out and Chunky gears up for some stabbing with his fucking terrifyingly big shears.

And then the greatest moment of Mighty Morphin’ (and maybe even my life) happens so far.

It’s Rita… on a Penny Farthing… flying through the sky.

I can’t even.

We take a break from the Dali-esque surreal dream of a battle to check in with Aplha-5 and Zordon, who have located Maria.

She’s being suspended by the Chunky Chicken at the Power Station.

Rita and the gang are there too. Presumbly they travelled by flying Penny Farthing. You know – the way to travel.

IT’S ZORD TIME. “Nominal?” Really, Billy?

The deal is that the Rangers must exchange the Eggs for Maria. The Rangers refuse and the Chicken goes ahead and cuts the rope Maria is suspended with.

Good reflexes, Jason!

*PISSED*

Oh shit waddup here come dat chicken!

The Rangers tell Maria to get into the Rad Bug so it can take her to safety to keep her out of harms way.

But Chunky’s got some new tricks up his sleeve now! He can seeminly cut through dimensions. Also, is he wearing a fez now?

Shit! Where’d he go?

Oh, there he is! But even with this neat trick he’s no match for the Megasword. TL; DR: the Rangers beat his ass down.

After the battle, we cut to Ernie enjoying some TV news.

We then get this odd shot of Skull just lurking around somewhere in the Gym with this salt shaker. No idea why.

But never mind about that because Ernie’s made “veggie chilli” everyone! And – what’s that? It’s on the house?! Ernie, you shouldn’t have. Why on earth is Kim holding it aloft so precariously?

EVERYONE is up for veggie chilli, it seems.

Oh yeah sure, keep it at that dangerous height, why not?

And here – minding his business – we have Bulk enjoying some ice-cream. I wonder why he’s…

…Oh. Of course. How did I not see that coming?

Queue Skulls’ iconic laugh, and that about wraps up the episode. Poor Bulk.