Netflix Synopsis: Trini must overcome her fear of heights to save Billy.
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The episode starts with Austin St. John putting those bulging arm muscles to good use. #FanService
Trini: ‘You’ll never catch me climbing anything that high.” Something tell me we will, Trini.
Old man Billy makes his entrance…
…and it’s not long before this happens, of course.
Bulk decides to prove his muscles are just as bulging as Jason’s, leading to this charming moment in which he and Skull mix their spit together before he tries to climb the rope. Although wouldn’t talc be more effective than something wet, Bulk? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.
Bulk’s inevitable rope climbing fail complete with ceiling cave-in. #FatShaming?
Billy invents some sweet-ass communicators for the Rangers because he’s Billy and he does that kind of stuff in his spare time.
HOLD UP – Billy’s communicators are actually teleporters? And he did this by mistake?! As far as “mistakes” go Billy, I wouldn’t beat yourself up over this one.
Baboo (of Baboo and Squat, Rita’s not-so-brilliant henchmen) is legit a rip-off of Beast from the X-Men with the voice of Tristan Taylor from Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series (In the show I said he sounded like Joey Wheeler, but I mean Tristan.) Watch both videos below and you’ll hear what I mean.
BEHOLD, BONES! Without a doubt the most suave monster Rita has ever made.
He takes his whole head off instead of just his hat when he greets people! I mean, COME ON.
Rita’s big evil plan this ep is to “trap the Power Rangers in a time warp”, which is apparently what she did to Zordon. To do this, she gets Finster to fashion this model NASA style rocket and sends it down to Earth. Yes, this is really the plot.
Apparently this tiny rocket is the most terrifying thing that has ever touched down on our planet.
People literally run out of the way of this thing like it’s Satan incarnate coming to reign down Hell on Earth.
The tiny rocket shoots this psychedelic beam into the sky that looks like the Rainbow Road track from Mario Kart, which apparently opens up the time warp. (I’m as confused as you are, trust me.)
The Rangers – while battling the Putties – make two stupid decisions: 1. Not to Morph, and 2. To split up. Billy wanders off up a cliff for reasons known only to him, leaving Trini to have to rescue him.
Uh-Oh! Trini’s vertigo starts kicking in…
As if by magic (or plot contrivances) Trini gets over her vertigo in time to defend Billy from the putty that had cornered him on the cliff.
And she manages to trick it into diving off the edge to it’s death. (Do putties die? Are they even alive? Too many philosophical questions for Power Rangers.)
Meanwhile, Jason, Zack and Kimberley seem to be being group hugged to death by the rest of the putties.
And then we get THIS.
Not exactly the Fastball Special, but it’ll do.
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.
Finally we get some Bones action, including a demonstration of his bizarre powers, which include: firing “energy pulses” from his eye sockets.
Jumping super high.
And… turning invisible whilst on a carousel for some reason. IDK at this point.
Okay, time to strap in because from this point on things get really fucking weird. Bones throws his head into the air at the Rangers (whilst making a stellar head-related pun).
This somehow teleports the Rangers into the “time warp”, which resembles a sort of Japanese fever dream of smoke, a dreamy purple sky and cherry blossom trees. Plus, Bones has some skeleton henchmen with lightsabers, because why the hell not at this point.
Everyone least favourite henchmen, Baboo and Squat, pop up out of some pumpkins (?).
They’re armed with bombs, and we can see the tiny rocket that opened the time warp is now inside the time warp. I’d say this doesn’t make much sense, but that sentence really be used to describe every other aspect of this episode.
The Rangers get their blasters out, but that doesn’t seem to work very well against an enemy who is a. already dead, and b. can continually reassemble himself.
Billy – whose intelligence seems to vastly oscillate between being smart enough to invent a teleporter in the 1990s and getting himself cornered atop a cliff by a single dumb putty – works out that Bones’ head is the source of his powers, so he grabs it…
…And throws it to Trini, who lobs into a lava-filled crevasse. BOOM, good-bye Bones. (What is a time warp? Why is it filled with lava?!)
Astonishingly, we’re not done yet. Jason get’s grabbed King-Kong-style by this giant hand and pulled out of the time warp. (WHAT IS A TIME WARP?)
The hand belongs to this giant Spartan dude, who literally shows up out of nowhere. At least Rita had the foresight to come up with a back-up plan, I guess.
For some reason, Jason decides this is his fight alone (even though this has clearly been a Billy and Trini episode) and calls his Dinozord out.
Jason jumps REALLY high to get into his Dinozord. I mean, REALLY high.
And while he get’s to spar one-on-one with the Spartan, the others just have to stand on the sidelines yelling Morph-based words like, “Morphenomenal!”
Jason: “Time to chill this dude out!” But instead of releasing an ice-based power, the Dinozord stamps on the ground, sending this weird cloud of dust towards the Spartan.
And the Spartan fades away like a dying vampire in a low-budget supernatural movie. Oooookaaaayyyy.
Back at the Gym & Juice bar, Billy explains he’s fixed the communicators/teleporters, to which Kimberley exclaims, “This is so 90s!” No, Kimberley, it’s not. This kind of tech definitely didn’t exist in the 90s.
The episode ends with Zack putting on this terrifying mask to trigger Trini’s PTSD from fighting Bones in the Japanese fever dream from Hell.
Trini is of scared so much she scampers right up the rope she vowed she’d never climb. She maybe scarred from battle, but at least she’s gotten over her vertigo!
Next episode: ‘Teamwork.’