Netflix Synopsis: Jason battles King Sphinx while trying to break a bench press record at the Angel Grove Gym and Juice Bar.
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In the first shot of this episode, we’re treated to this weird Bart Simpson wall art.
Jason’s attempting to break the bench press record at the G&J bar. Ernie is supposed to be keeping count but he seems to be doing a better job of spitting food and shake all over him.
Ernie: “What number was I on again, Jas’? *spit spit cough cough splutter*”
Kimberley starts distracting the audience with her impressive bubblegum skills (note how overly impressed the background actors are). Meanwhile, in the background, skater-boy Zack is busy skating around (FLAGRANTLY disregarding health & saftey rules) and inevitably collides with Kim…
…resulting in this moment of comedy gold:
Meanwhile, Rita enlists the help of our old pal, Goldar…
…And new pal ‘King Sphinx’, to try and split Jason up from the team to take him out easily.
Back at the G&J, Zack apologises to Kim for the whole bubblegum kerfuffle, eliciting this peice of 90s slang from her that clearly never caught on in quite the way the writers had hoped.
Enter Bulk and Skull stage right. After mocking Jason for what was actually a great feat of strengh (900+ bench presses) and the shocking revelation that the current bench press record belongs to Bulk (??), the rotund bully gets all handsey with Jason – literally rocking him around like he’s trying to burp a baby.
Jason returns to the babyish behaviour by tickling Bulk…
…And then ramps things up by stamping on his foot.
Bulk doubles up in pain, causing his trousers to rip and reveal his, um, ‘unsual’ underwear. Seriously, Bulk – why are there pig in jackets and ties surrounded by breifcases on your pants? Are they… Are they business pigs? WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
Skull – as usual – does nothing to help the situation.
The Rangers then get a call from Zordon and have to leave before drinking their shakes. Moneybags Zack tells Ernie to “put it on my tab.”
Zordon sends Jason, Zack and Kim to battle King Sphinx and some Putties in a “children’s theatre in the park”, which turns out to be the most depressing place in Angel Grove.
I mean just look at it. Why is that fancy chair there? What’s this creepy mural about?
Just look at those terrifying chalk drawings! Would you send your kids to play here? No, don’t think so.
It turns out that Sphinx has a trick up his, erm, armour shoulder pad. As he beats his wings, he can blow people away – literally. And while we’re on Sphinx, let’s just quickly discuss how he looks like how someone on heroin would see a cat if they were on a bad trip in the British Museusm.
Kimberley, and then Zack, are teleported/blown all the way back to the G&J bar by his magic wings. I particuarly enjoy the MS Paint style graphics here.
When I say the G&J bar, I specifically mean the balance beam. Impressive targeting skills for an ancient cat with wings.
As per Rita’s plan, Jason is left alone to battle Sphinx. Don’t be fooled by this screencap though – things don’t end in kisses and cuddles.
As is often the case with PR battles, Jason and Sphinx are suddenly teleported to New Zealand… I mean, some desert outside of Angel Grove.
They’re soon joined by Goldar and go all big. Jason seems well and truly fucked.
We then cut to… Wait, where is this?
Is this a science lab? In a house? Why are Billy and Trini here? Is it their lab? Are they a two-person science club? How do they afford all this cool stuff? None of these burning Qs are answered in this ep, instead, Kim and Zack burst in to tell them Jason needs help.
Back at HQ, Zordon gives them some new weapons – the ‘Power Crystals.’
Zordon: “The crystals contain the essence of your morphing powers. Use them to find each other in any peril, and with your zords to draw power from the very heart of the morphing grid. I am sending the crystals directly to Jason. Once they are in his possession, you will be able to join him and stop King Sphinx and Goldar.“
Zordon beams the crystals over to Jason’s location. It’s not really clear why Zordon couldn’t just teleport the other Rangers there normally as he never seemed to have any problems doing that before, but… whatevs, I guess. This seems cool.
Jason shows off his dodging skills as he races over to the where the crystals landed. (AT LEAST SOMEONE KNOWS HOW TO ZIG-ZAG WHEN BEING FIRED AT, *cough cough* RICKON. #TheNorthRemembers.)
The crystals now look like test tube shots of Sourz you can get at shitty clubs sometimes.
Jason seems to instinctively know exactly what they are and what do with them.
The crystals ‘beam’ into the other Rangers, mid-run. Still ridiculous, but also still cool.
They call the Zords, form the Megazord, and inject some crystal power into it. Jason also sounds as illegible as ever: “NowYou’reGonnaSeeWhatFriendsWorkingTogetherCanDo!”
Kimberley: “Let’s jinx this Sphinx!”
Goldar and King Sphinx retaliate, and the fight seems evenly matched.
That is, until the Power Sword comes out. Say it with me now: ‘By the power of Greyskull…’
His royal Sphinx-iness is toast, but Goldar manages to get away.
Now that all that distracting Power Rangers business is out of the way, Jason goes back to concentrating on what really matters: Proving he’s better at bench pressing than an overweight, deliquant teenager. This time, the whole team is there to support him by keeping count and not spitting half-masicated food all over him. It’s a lot to ask for, I know, but that’s what friends are for I guess.
He sets a new record, and Ernie wheels in a cake he had prepared to mark the occassion! Or, maybe he just stole it from the birthday party of a mother who will now be very disappointed on her special day.
As soon as Bulk and Skull reappear, it’s pretty clear what’s going to happen next.
Yep. That seems about right.
I don’t have a cake prepared for you I’m afraid, so intead, please accept this collection of expressions that Jason makes while bench pressing:
Next episode: ‘Different Drum.’